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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
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How to Let Go and Forgive – Zen Habits Website
“Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his behavior – you cannot control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.”
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“Never wish them pain. That’s not who you are. If they caused you pain they must have pain inside. Wish them healing.”
— Najwa Zebian
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Led Zeppelin, LA Forum 1975: Wizard Pants Jimbert!
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“When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.” — Anton Szandor LaVey
Word Series: The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth. Size: 18 x 24 in. On a matte paper. Heavyweight stock.
Available on our website.
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plagiarism
noun [ U ]
UK /ˈpleɪ.dʒər.ɪ.zəm/ US /ˈpleɪ.dʒɚ.ɪ.zəm/
the process or practice of using another person’s ideas or work and pretending that it is your own.
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Hotel Costes 9 – Paris… Demain matin
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“The difference between an artist who finds sales and someone like Vincent van Gogh, who never did, is that van Gogh quietly changed the world—while others simply passed through it.”
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Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
The United States gave Japan a warning and a deadline to surrender before the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, though not with an explicit mention of the atomic bomb itself.
Key Warning: The Potsdam Declaration (July 26, 1945)
- The Potsdam Declaration was issued by the United States, the United Kingdom, and China.
- It called for Japan’s unconditional surrender, warning of “prompt and utter destruction” if they refused.
- It did not mention the atomic bomb specifically, as the weapon had not yet been used publicly and was still secret.
- Japan was given an ultimatum, though no exact deadline date was specified.
- Japan’s government rejected the ultimatum (or more accurately, chose to ignore it, which was interpreted as rejection by the Allies).
What happened next:
- On August 6, 1945, the U.S. dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima.
- On August 8, the Soviet Union declared war on Japan.
- On August 9, the second atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki.
- Japan announced its intention to surrender on August 15, 1945, leading to the formal surrender on September 2, 1945.
Summary:
The U.S. did issue a surrender ultimatum (Potsdam Declaration) before the bombings, but did not reveal that an atomic bomb would be used. The warning was serious but vague about the nature of the coming destruction.
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Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons
“In a recent Ditch the Label study, we spoke to 7,347 people about bullying. We asked respondents to define bullying and then later asked if, based on their own definition, they had ever bullied anybody. 14% of our overall sample, so that’s 1,239 people, said yes. What we then did was something that had never been done on this scale before; we asked them intimate questions about their lives, exploring things like stress and trauma, home lives, relationships and how they feel about themselves.”
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“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”
– Kurt Cobain
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“So bullshitting isn’t just nonsense. It’s constructed in order to appear meaningful, though on closer examination, it isn’t. And bullshit isn’t the same as lying. A liar knows the truth but makes statements deliberately intended to sell people on falsehoods. bullshitters, in contrast, aren’t concerned about what’s true or not, so much as they’re trying to appear as if they know what they’re talking about. In that sense, bullshitting can be thought of as a verbal demonstration of the Dunning-Kruger effect—when people speak from a position of disproportionate confidence about their knowledge relative to what little they actually know, bullshit is often the result.”
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“Design has to work. Art does not.” — Donald Judd
Ideas have fathers
One of the many destructive assumptions nowadays is that ideas have no fathers. But ideas are thought up by someone. For example, the concept of placing a sculpture on the ground without a plinth was one of Judd’s ideas; it is now very common and no one is aware of this. Another one of his ideas was the concept of the installation, the use of the whole space. Many artists devalue this idea. Once again there is no discussion at all and mediocre works are created. Art historians who are concerned with the past are at least still interested in chronology, those who work with contemporary art are not, and they see art as the subject for their own speculations.
Artist Donald Judd (1928 – 1994) held the 1993 Mondrian Lecture called ‘Some aspects of colour in general and red and black in particular’.