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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
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What Happens In The Brain When We Dislike Somebody – Headspace
“In order to understand what happens in your body when you dislike someone, you can start by trying to understand fear. As Robert Sapolsky writes in “Why Your Brain Hates Other People,” when we see someone who even looks different from us, “there is preferential activation of the amygdala,” which means the brain region associated with fear and aggression flares up. This visceral, emotional reaction can spark a long-term pattern of dislike when it’s validated by action: if you perceive that someone has hurt you, your fear of them becomes rational. Our negative feelings toward someone get stronger as bad experiences with them pile up, and these negative thoughts trigger the fight-or-flight response in our bodies.”
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“I am convinced that men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other, and they don’t communicate with each other because they are separated from each other.”
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
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“I didn’t return to Apple to make a fortune. I’ve been very lucky in my life and already have one. When I was 25, my net worth was $100 million or so. I decided then that I wasn’t going to let it ruin my life. There’s no way you could ever spend it all, and I don’t view wealth as something that validates my intelligence.”
— Steve Jobs
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Cosmic Perspective on Humanity
“The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.” — Carl Sagan
This quote by Carl Sagan, from his reflections on the “Pale Blue Dot” image of Earth taken by Voyager 1, is one of the most poignant and sobering commentaries on human nature and our place in the universe. It’s a powerful distillation of humility and perspective.
Sagan’s words emphasize just how small and fragile our planet—and everything that happens on it—really is when seen from a cosmic scale. His reflection on human conflict and the desire for domination exposes the tragic irony of our behavior: we commit immense violence and cruelty over borders, beliefs, and power, all while existing on what amounts to a speck of dust in an unimaginably vast cosmos.
The power of this quote lies in its juxtaposition. On one hand, it paints a picture of the grandeur and scale of the universe; on the other, it highlights the pettiness and destructiveness of much of human history. It’s both a critique and a call for introspection—an urging to reevaluate our values, actions, and the stories we tell ourselves about significance and glory.
Sagan’s message is not one of nihilism, though—it’s of responsibility. If this “dot” is all we have, then we ought to treat each other and the Earth with more care, compassion, and wisdom.
By ChatGPT
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“The world is burning, people are barely holding on — and millionaires are betting on dead pieces of canvas. Yes, I said it: a piece of canvas. Because art is meant to live, to breathe, to move us — not to be traded like stock or hoarded like trophies. But in their hands, it’s just a price tag. And that’s the tragedy!”
— User comment on Sotheby’s Art Auction Sale Falls
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“I don’t want to die. I’m not done with living. I’m not done with loving. I’m not done with creating. I’m not done with hopefully changing things for the better.”
— Shannen Doherty
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Edvard Munch (Norwegian, 1863-1945), Melancholy Man and Mermaid (Encounter on the Beach), c.1896-1902. Pastel and wash on paper, 25.3 x 34 cm.
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“When you’re doing something for the first time, you don’t know it’s going to work. You spend seven or eight years working on something, and then it’s copied. I have to be honest: the first thing I can think, all those weekends that I could have at home with my family but didn’t. I think it’s theft, and it’s lazy.”
— Jonathan Ive
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“Painting is self-discovery. Every good artist paints what he is.”
— Jackson Pollock
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plagiarism
noun [ U ]
UK /ˈpleɪ.dʒər.ɪ.zəm/ US /ˈpleɪ.dʒɚ.ɪ.zəm/
the process or practice of using another person’s ideas or work and pretending that it is your own.
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The age of envy: how to be happy when everyone else’s life looks perfect
“But with the advent of social media, says Ethan Kross, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan who studies the impact of Facebook on our wellbeing, ‘envy is being taken to an extreme’. We are constantly bombarded by ‘Photoshopped lives’, he says, ‘and that exerts a toll on us the likes of which we have never experienced in the history of our species. And it is not particularly pleasant.’”