consciousness
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What makes it hard to control my anger?
There are lots of things that can affect how you react to anger. This can mean you react poorly to anger or have trouble controlling it.
Your situation in life can affect how well you’re able to control anger. For example, it gets more difficult to control your anger if you’re stressed or you’re dealing with other challenges.
Your family history can also have a strong effect on how you manage anger and other negative emotions. Growing up, you may have learned unhelpful ways of dealing with anger from the adults in your life.
You may also be dealing with anger from the past that you weren’t able to deal with or express. This can make it harder to deal with new situations that make you feel angry.
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https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
Expressing anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
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The Psychology of Hypocrisy – Why We Do it & How to Stop
What is Hypocrisy?
Hypocrisy is defined as the practice of claiming to have moral standards or views to which one’s own behavior (or the behavior of people in our family or tribe) does not meet. It is a pretense of morality that cloaks our inability to meet some predetermined moral code.
“At the root of hypocrisy is a strong desire to be loved and accepted. The fear of humility and judgment is so powerful, that we use doublethink and cognitive dissonance to avoid facing ourselves.”
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The Voice of Happiness
After Bankei had passed away, a blind man who lived near the master’s temple told a friend: “Since I am blind, I cannot watch a person’s face, so I must judge his character by the sound of his voice. Ordinarily when I hear someone congratulate another upon his happiness or success, I also hear a secret tone of envy. When condolence is expressed for the misfortune of another, I hear pleasure and satisfaction, as if the one condoling was really glad there was something left to gain in his own world.
“In all my experience, however, Bankei’s voice was always sincere. Whenever he expressed happiness, I heard nothing but happiness, and whenever he expressed sorrow, sorrow was all I heard.”
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What is Self-Deception?
Self-deception is the act of fooling yourself into believing something that is not true or denying aspects of reality to avoid discomfort or cognitive dissonance. Signs of self-deception include:
- Rationalizing or justifying your actions or beliefs
- Ignoring evidence that contradicts your beliefs
- Minimizing or dismissing the effect of your behavior on yourself or others
- Avoiding self-reflection or introspection to maintain a preferred self-image
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‘The art of Zen’ education resource: History of Zen Buddhism
“Zen is a school of Buddhism which emphasises the practice of meditation as the key ingredient to awakening ones inner nature, compassion and wisdom. The practice of meditation (Zen in Japanese) as a means of attaining enlightenment was introduced, as we have seen, by the Buddha himself. Zen approached Buddhism in the most direct, simple and practical way. It grasped that enlightenment was the most fundamental aspect of Buddhism and thus did away with sacred scriptures, rituals and objects of worship, all of which had become a major aspect of Mahayana Buddhism in India.”
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Why Do Some People Always Get Lost?
“Results like these suggest that an individual’s life experience may be one of the biggest determinants of how well they navigate. Indeed, experience may even underlie one of the most consistent findings—and clichés—in navigation: that men tend to perform better than women. Turns out this gender gap is more a question of culture and experience than of innate ability.”