ego

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donotdestroy:

“The key aspect of these lies is that people treat (or search for) evidence in a motivationally biased way. Self-deception can be like a drug, numbing you from harsh reality, or turning a blind eye to the tough matter of gathering evidence and thinking (Churchland, 2013). As Voltaire commented long ago, ‘Illusion is the first of all pleasure.’”

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“Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s idealized self-image and attributes.”

— Sigmund Freud

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“A narcissist is someone who causes emotional carnage around them and yet feels no guilt or responsibility for the destruction they’ve caused.”

— Sam Vaknin

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donotdestroy:

Other signs include:

  • A sense of self-importance, exaggerating their achievements and talents
  • A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or brilliance
  • A belief that they’re more special or unique than others and should only associate with other high-status people
  • Envy of others or the belief that others are envious of them
  • Insisting they have the best of everything
  • Feeling they deserve privileges and special treatment

“Narcissism is extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them. While everyone may show occasional narcissistic behavior, true narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings. They also do not understand the effect that their behavior has on other people.”

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“The male ego can in some cases be tied to how and where a man sees his place in the world and whether he’s living up to expectations — his and those of society.

Cultural stereotypes for men can be intricately tied to both the inflation and deflation of the male ego. Some men measure themselves by the answers to the following questions:

Am I strong enough? Am I wealthy enough? Do I meet the traditional definition of masculinity? Do I attract women? Do I control things or people? Do people recognize me for these things and am I respected and revered for them?”

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donotdestroy:

“Your ego takes you away from the present moment. Imagine living your whole life thinking about the past and the future, and then realising at the end that all you ever had was the present moment – but you were too stuck in your head to fully engage your senses and enjoy the world around you. Here’s how you can identify when your ego kicks in…”

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“If you have a selfish person in your life, you might feel overwhelmed or frustrated about not knowing how to communicate with them. It could feel like no matter what you say or do, this person continues to hurt you (either intentionally or unintentionally) to act in their own interests.”

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“The falsehood here is that it’s always and automatically bad whenever you’re doing something that you wish to do, by your own standards and for your own sake. People think of ‘ego trip’ and they immediately think of a person looking in the mirror, obsessing on him- or herself. They confuse this image with the proper definition of ego, which is a rational orientation towards oneself and reality.”

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“Narcissistic personality disorder isn’t a flaw or a character defect. It’s a mental health disorder. If you have it, there are things you can do to help yourself and strengthen your connections to others in a healthy way. It may be difficult to accept or admit, but this condition can seriously damage relationships and disrupt your life. You shouldn’t ignore it or avoid the reality of it.”

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donotdestroy:

Why a narcissist plays the victim may be directly connected to some of the symptoms of NPD:

  • sense of entitlement
  • denial and low insight
  • grandiosity
  • projection
  • need for control
  • narcissistic rage
  • low empathy

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“The greatest illusion the middle class holds is that they can ‘fix’ poverty from the outside, without ever understanding the lived experience of those within it.”

— Anonymous

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“The middle class, in all their naiveté, often believe that they can solve the problems of the lower class with the same tools they use to maintain their own status. But they are worlds apart, and what they fail to realize is that poverty isn’t a problem to be solved, but a condition to be survived.”

— Anonymous

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“Several studies have shown that wealth may be at odds with empathy and compassion. Research published in the journal Psychological Science found that people of lower economic status were better at reading others’ facial expressions—an important marker of empathy—than wealthier people. ‘A lot of what we see is a baseline orientation for the lower class to be more empathetic and the upper class to be less [so],’ study co-author Michael Kraus told Time. ‘Lower-class environments are much different from upper-class environments. Lower-class individuals have to respond chronically to a number of vulnerabilities and social threats. You really need to depend on others so they will tell you if a social threat or opportunity is coming, and that makes you more perceptive of emotions.’ While a lack of resources fosters greater emotional intelligence, having more resources can cause bad behavior in its own right. UC Berkeley research found that even fake money could make people behave with less regard for others. Researchers observed that when two students played Monopoly, one having been given a great deal more Monopoly money than the other, the wealthier player expressed initial discomfort, but then went on to act aggressively, taking up more space and moving his pieces more loudly, and even taunting the player with less money.”

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Narcissism is a mental condition that can be caused by a number of factors, including:

Genetics

People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are more likely to have close relatives with the condition.

Observation and imitation

Children can learn narcissistic traits and behaviors from observing and imitating others.

Negative childhood experiences

There may be a link between NPD and negative childhood experiences.

Parenting style

Overprotective or “helicopter” parenting, or overindulging children, can lead to children who expect and demand the same treatment from others.

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