human behaviour

80 items found

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donotdestroy:

“Childhood trauma may occur after an adverse event makes a child feel unsafe or unable to cope. Trauma can impair a child’s emotional and cognitive abilities and disrupt their academic and social development. Adults who experienced childhood trauma may have a higher risk of mental health conditions and certain physical health conditions. They may also have difficulty maintaining relationships with others.”

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“If you have a selfish person in your life, you might feel overwhelmed or frustrated about not knowing how to communicate with them. It could feel like no matter what you say or do, this person continues to hurt you (either intentionally or unintentionally) to act in their own interests.”

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“Narcissistic personality disorder isn’t a flaw or a character defect. It’s a mental health disorder. If you have it, there are things you can do to help yourself and strengthen your connections to others in a healthy way. It may be difficult to accept or admit, but this condition can seriously damage relationships and disrupt your life. You shouldn’t ignore it or avoid the reality of it.”

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“Childhood trauma may occur after an adverse event makes a child feel unsafe or unable to cope. Trauma can impair a child’s emotional and cognitive abilities and disrupt their academic and social development. Adults who experienced childhood trauma may have a higher risk of mental health conditions and certain physical health conditions. They may also have difficulty maintaining relationships with others.”

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“Several studies have shown that wealth may be at odds with empathy and compassion. Research published in the journal Psychological Science found that people of lower economic status were better at reading others’ facial expressions—an important marker of empathy—than wealthier people. ‘A lot of what we see is a baseline orientation for the lower class to be more empathetic and the upper class to be less [so],’ study co-author Michael Kraus told Time. ‘Lower-class environments are much different from upper-class environments. Lower-class individuals have to respond chronically to a number of vulnerabilities and social threats. You really need to depend on others so they will tell you if a social threat or opportunity is coming, and that makes you more perceptive of emotions.’ While a lack of resources fosters greater emotional intelligence, having more resources can cause bad behavior in its own right. UC Berkeley research found that even fake money could make people behave with less regard for others. Researchers observed that when two students played Monopoly, one having been given a great deal more Monopoly money than the other, the wealthier player expressed initial discomfort, but then went on to act aggressively, taking up more space and moving his pieces more loudly, and even taunting the player with less money.”

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donotdestroy:

By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.

Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.

And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.

This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.

As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.

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A recent paper, by McArthur et al., discusses the most common motivations for lying and examines the link between different motivations for lying and personality traits (e.g., extraversion, emotionality). This research, published in the October issue of Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science

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Expressing anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

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donotdestroy:

What is Hypocrisy?

Hypocrisy is defined as the practice of claiming to have moral standards or views to which one’s own behavior (or the behavior of people in our family or tribe) does not meet. It is a pretense of morality that cloaks our inability to meet some predetermined moral code.

“At the root of hypocrisy is a strong desire to be loved and accepted. The fear of humility and judgment is so powerful, that we use doublethink and cognitive dissonance to avoid facing ourselves.”

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Narcissism is a mental condition that can be caused by a number of factors, including:

Genetics

People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are more likely to have close relatives with the condition.

Observation and imitation

Children can learn narcissistic traits and behaviors from observing and imitating others.

Negative childhood experiences

There may be a link between NPD and negative childhood experiences.

Parenting style

Overprotective or “helicopter” parenting, or overindulging children, can lead to children who expect and demand the same treatment from others.

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Face To Face | Carl Gustav Jung (1959) HQ

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“But with the advent of social media, says Ethan Kross, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan who studies the impact of Facebook on our wellbeing, ‘envy is being taken to an extreme’. We are constantly bombarded by ‘Photoshopped lives’, he says, ‘and that exerts a toll on us the likes of which we have never experienced in the history of our species. And it is not particularly pleasant.’”

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“There are a number of theories on the reasons why people experience jealousy. Whether it’s over what other people have that we don’t or have accomplished by means of resources, privilege, opportunity, or hard work, it seems like jealousy has always been a part of being human. One theory is that jealousy was how our early ancestors defended themselves from infidelity, according to evolutionary psychology. Today, we’ve taken theory and applied it to more rigorous scientific study.”

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“Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That’s what’s insane about it.”

— John Lennon