human behaviour

80 items found

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donotdestroy:

“Childhood trauma may occur after an adverse event makes a child feel unsafe or unable to cope. Trauma can impair a child’s emotional and cognitive abilities and disrupt their academic and social development. Adults who experienced childhood trauma may have a higher risk of mental health conditions and certain physical health conditions. They may also have difficulty maintaining relationships with others.”

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“If you have a selfish person in your life, you might feel overwhelmed or frustrated about not knowing how to communicate with them. It could feel like no matter what you say or do, this person continues to hurt you (either intentionally or unintentionally) to act in their own interests.”

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“Narcissistic personality disorder isn’t a flaw or a character defect. It’s a mental health disorder. If you have it, there are things you can do to help yourself and strengthen your connections to others in a healthy way. It may be difficult to accept or admit, but this condition can seriously damage relationships and disrupt your life. You shouldn’t ignore it or avoid the reality of it.”

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“Childhood trauma may occur after an adverse event makes a child feel unsafe or unable to cope. Trauma can impair a child’s emotional and cognitive abilities and disrupt their academic and social development. Adults who experienced childhood trauma may have a higher risk of mental health conditions and certain physical health conditions. They may also have difficulty maintaining relationships with others.”

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“Several studies have shown that wealth may be at odds with empathy and compassion. Research published in the journal Psychological Science found that people of lower economic status were better at reading others’ facial expressions—an important marker of empathy—than wealthier people. ‘A lot of what we see is a baseline orientation for the lower class to be more empathetic and the upper class to be less [so],’ study co-author Michael Kraus told Time. ‘Lower-class environments are much different from upper-class environments. Lower-class individuals have to respond chronically to a number of vulnerabilities and social threats. You really need to depend on others so they will tell you if a social threat or opportunity is coming, and that makes you more perceptive of emotions.’ While a lack of resources fosters greater emotional intelligence, having more resources can cause bad behavior in its own right. UC Berkeley research found that even fake money could make people behave with less regard for others. Researchers observed that when two students played Monopoly, one having been given a great deal more Monopoly money than the other, the wealthier player expressed initial discomfort, but then went on to act aggressively, taking up more space and moving his pieces more loudly, and even taunting the player with less money.”

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donotdestroy:

By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.

Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.

And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.

This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.

As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.

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A recent paper, by McArthur et al., discusses the most common motivations for lying and examines the link between different motivations for lying and personality traits (e.g., extraversion, emotionality). This research, published in the October issue of Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science