lie
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“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”
— Virginia Woolf
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“Trust is the bedrock of social life at all levels, from romance and parenting to national government. Deception always undermines it. Because truth is so essential to the human enterprise, which relies on a shared view of reality, the default assumption most people have is that others are truthful in their communications and dealings. Most cultures have powerful social sanctions against lying.”
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why do we deceive ourselves? and how do we overcome it?
People tend the deceive themselves in 4 ways.
1. IT’S TRUE IF I BELIEVE IT.
2. IT’S TRUE IF WE BELIEVE IT.
3. IT’S TRUE IF I WANT TO BELIEVE IT.
4. IT’S TRUE IF IT SERVES MY VESTED INTEREST TO BELIEVE IT.
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What is Self-Deception?
Self-deception is the act of fooling yourself into believing something that is not true or denying aspects of reality to avoid discomfort or cognitive dissonance. Signs of self-deception include:
- Rationalizing or justifying your actions or beliefs
- Ignoring evidence that contradicts your beliefs
- Minimizing or dismissing the effect of your behavior on yourself or others
- Avoiding self-reflection or introspection to maintain a preferred self-image
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How self-deception allows people to lie
We lie to ourselves to protect our self-images, which allows us to act immorally while maintaining a clear conscience. According to the very latest research, self-deception may have even evolved to help us to persuade others; if we start believing our own lies, it’s much easier to get other people to believe them, too.
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What are we hiding from ourselves?
What truths are we running from?
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Self-Deception: Why We Do It and How to Stop It
We all do it. We engage in self-deception—hiding the truth from ourselves about our true feelings, motives, or circumstances. When we’re deceiving ourselves, we’re denying evidence, logic, or reality and rationalizing choices or behaviors to serve a false narrative. We’re not seeing or viewing things accurately. Our self-deception can be conscious or unconscious, controlled or automatic, acute or chronic.
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We Dislike Hypocrites Because They Deceive Us
“Perhaps the most critical piece of evidence for the theory of hypocrisy as false signaling is that people disliked hypocrites more than so-called ‘honest hypocrites.’ In a fourth online study, the researchers tested perceptions of ‘honest hypocrites,’ who — like traditional hypocrites — condemn behaviors that they engage in, but who also admit that they sometimes commit those behaviors. ‘The extent to which people forgive honest hypocrites was striking to us,’ says Jordan. ‘These honest hypocrites are seen as no worse than people who commit the same transgressions but keep their mouths shut and refrain from judging others for doing the same — suggesting that the entirety of our dislike for hypocrites can be attributed to the fact that they falsely signal their virtue.’”