mind
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“Insecure people put others down to raise themselves up.”
— Habeeb Akande
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We Dislike Hypocrites Because They Deceive Us
“Perhaps the most critical piece of evidence for the theory of hypocrisy as false signaling is that people disliked hypocrites more than so-called ‘honest hypocrites.’ In a fourth online study, the researchers tested perceptions of ‘honest hypocrites,’ who — like traditional hypocrites — condemn behaviors that they engage in, but who also admit that they sometimes commit those behaviors. ‘The extent to which people forgive honest hypocrites was striking to us,’ says Jordan. ‘These honest hypocrites are seen as no worse than people who commit the same transgressions but keep their mouths shut and refrain from judging others for doing the same — suggesting that the entirety of our dislike for hypocrites can be attributed to the fact that they falsely signal their virtue.’”
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The Real Miracle
When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through repetition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.
Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that Bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.
“The founder of our sect,” boasted the priest, “had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?”
Bankei replied lightly: “Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink.”
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Narcissism: Symptoms and Signs
Other signs include:
- A sense of self-importance, exaggerating their achievements and talents
- A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or brilliance
- A belief that they’re more special or unique than others and should only associate with other high-status people
- Envy of others or the belief that others are envious of them
- Insisting they have the best of everything
- Feeling they deserve privileges and special treatment
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Some Harsh Advice for People Who Hate Themselves
“Your Self-Hatred is a Refuge”
“You probably didn’t start hating yourself out of nowhere. One possibility is that your self-hatred may be a natural reaction to a traumatic event… Begin to slowly, carefully, put down the weight of your imperfect explanation… The fact that it was not enough does not mean anything about you—it just means you are human, with all the strengths and weaknesses involved.”
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“Hatred has to be learned, Golden says: ‘We are all born with the capacity for aggression as well as compassion. Which tendencies we embrace requires mindful choice by individuals, families, communities and our culture in general. The key to overcoming hate is education: at home, in schools, and in the community.’ According to Dutchevici, facing the fear of being vulnerable and utterly human is what allows us to connect, to feel, and ultimately, to love. She suggests creating ‘cracks in the system.’ These cracks can be as simple as connecting to your neighbor, talking with a friend, starting a protest, or even going to therapy and connecting with an ‘Other.’ It is through these acts that one can understand hate and love.”
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The age of envy: how to be happy when everyone else’s life looks perfect
“But with the advent of social media, says Ethan Kross, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan who studies the impact of Facebook on our wellbeing, ‘envy is being taken to an extreme’. We are constantly bombarded by ‘Photoshopped lives’, he says, ‘and that exerts a toll on us the likes of which we have never experienced in the history of our species. And it is not particularly pleasant.’”