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The Science Behind Jealousy And Envy| BetterHelp
“There are a number of theories on the reasons why people experience jealousy. Whether it’s over what other people have that we don’t or have accomplished by means of resources, privilege, opportunity, or hard work, it seems like jealousy has always been a part of being human. One theory is that jealousy was how our early ancestors defended themselves from infidelity, according to evolutionary psychology. Today, we’ve taken theory and applied it to more rigorous scientific study.”
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Does being the oldest or youngest sibling really shape your personality?
Are you a responsible oldest child, an overlooked middle, or a free-wheeling baby? For those who adhere to the theory that birth order influences personality, the answer to that question may hold the key to who you are as a person. At parties, family dinners, and therapy sessions, people can use birth order as a kind of shorthand for personality traits—an only child’s selfishness, perhaps, or a middle child’s struggle for visibility.
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https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/10/why-we-choose-ignorance
‘I’d rather not know’: Why we choose ignorance
“Across the studies, the researchers found that when given an option, 40% of people chose not to learn the consequences of their actions. That willful ignorance was correlated with less altruism: People were 15.6 percentage points more likely to be generous to someone else when they were told the consequences of their choice compared with when they were allowed to remain ignorant.”
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How self-deception allows people to lie
We lie to ourselves to protect our self-images, which allows us to act immorally while maintaining a clear conscience. According to the very latest research, self-deception may have even evolved to help us to persuade others; if we start believing our own lies, it’s much easier to get other people to believe them, too.
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“Modern people are unhappy then because they cannot experience completion. Always there are new – and higher – standards to meet. Inevitably, there is “unfinished business.” Everyone is urged to move forward, but no one knows if they have already reached their destination or if that end-point is years ahead.”
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Don’t take advice from someone who gave up on their own dream.
— Do Not Destroy
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Psychology of Competitiveness | Eastern Oregon University Online
One study of just this concept found that nearly half of people surveyed would rather make $50,000 in a world where the average salary is $25,000 than make $100,000 in a world where the average is $200,000; that is, they prioritized making more relative to other people rather than having a higher overall income. As the saying goes, “If you and I are being chased by a bear, I don’t have to outrun the bear; I just have to outrun you.”
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“It’s important to recognize the signs of traumatic stress and its short- and long-term impact.
The signs of traumatic stress may be different in each child. Young children may react differently than older children.
Preschool Children
- Fear being separated from their parent/caregive
- Cry or scream a lot
- Eat poorly or lose weight
- Have nightmares
Elementary School Children
- Become anxious or fearful
- Feel guilt or shame
- Have a hard time concentrating
- Have difficulty sleeping
Middle and High School Children
- Feel depressed or alone
- Develop eating disorders or self-harming behaviors
- Begin abusing alcohol or drugs
- Become involved in risky sexual behavior”
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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
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Why We Overvalue and Devalue People
“Emotional conditioning by parents creates automatic regimens in how we respond to ourselves and to others in relationships. These knee-jerk reactions take place outside our awareness. Both personalities can show automatic black-and-white responses in the ways they overvalue and devalue people. This can create misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships and harm the way people treat themselves.”
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Confidence vs Arrogance: Understanding the Critical Differences – CoachHub
Arrogance is an inflated self-image. Grounded in illusion, arrogance causes people to over-estimate themselves and form conflated ideas about their value. Arrogant people have a warped sense of themselves. They lack empathy and place themselves in a superior position to others.
Arrogance comes from a lack of self-awareness. They are arrogant person cannot see their weaknesses and exaggerate their strengths. Arrogant people tend to not have an accurate picture of how others perceive them and lack an appreciation for the value of others.
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Turning Your Attention to Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What is narcissistic personality disorder?
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that affects how you view yourself and relate to others. Having NPD means you have an excessive need to impress others or feel important. That need can be strong enough to drive harmful behaviors, negatively affecting you and those around you.
NPD gets its name from Narcissus, a hunter from Greek mythology. According to the myth, Narcissus was so obsessed with his own beauty that he couldn’t stop looking at his reflection in a pool of water. He did nothing else but stare at his reflection until he died.