mind

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The Stone Mind

Hogen, a Chinese Zen teacher, lived alone in a small temple in the country. One day four traveling monks appeared and asked if they might make a fire in his yard to warm themselves.

While they were building the fire, Hogen heard them arguing about subjectivity and objectivity. He joined them and said: There is a big stone. Do you consider it to be inside or outside your mind?’

One of the monks replied: ‘From the Buddhist viewpoint everything is an objectification of mind, so I would say that the stone is inside my mind.’

‘Your head must feel very heavy’, observed Hogen. ‘if you are carrying around a stone like that in your mind.’ 

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Other signs include:

  • A sense of self-importance, exaggerating their achievements and talents
  • A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or brilliance
  • A belief that they’re more special or unique than others and should only associate with other high-status people
  • Envy of others or the belief that others are envious of them
  • Insisting they have the best of everything
  • Feeling they deserve privileges and special treatment

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“Emotional conditioning by parents creates automatic regimens in how we respond to ourselves and to others in relationships. These knee-jerk reactions take place outside our awareness. Both personalities can show automatic black-and-white responses in the ways they overvalue and devalue people. This can create misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships and harm the way people treat themselves.”

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“Why a narcissist plays the victim depends on the situation and the type of narcissism they live with. Playing the victim or feeling like a victim may stem from lower self-esteem, low empathy, or a need for control. In every case, because NPD is a mental health condition, this behavior is linked to the symptoms that define the disorder and not to a personal choice.”

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“So bullshitting isn’t just nonsense. It’s constructed in order to appear meaningful, though on closer examination, it isn’t. And bullshit isn’t the same as lying. A liar knows the truth but makes statements deliberately intended to sell people on falsehoods. bullshitters, in contrast, aren’t concerned about what’s true or not, so much as they’re trying to appear as if they know what they’re talking about. In that sense, bullshitting can be thought of as a verbal demonstration of the Dunning-Kruger effect—when people speak from a position of disproportionate confidence about their knowledge relative to what little they actually know, bullshit is often the result.”

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What is Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem is when someone lacks confidence about who they are and what they can do. They often feel incompetent, unloved, or inadequate. People who struggle with low self-esteem are consistently afraid about making mistakes or letting other people down.

Having self-esteem issues can be detrimental to your health and negatively affect your personal and professional relationships. There are many reasons why you may have low self-esteem — your genes, how and where you grew up, and other life circumstances all play a role.

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The Real Miracle

When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through repetition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.

Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that Bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.

“The founder of our sect,” boasted the priest, “had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?”

Bankei replied lightly: “Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink.”

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