narcissism
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The Many Ways We Lie to Ourselves
“The key aspect of these lies is that people treat (or search for) evidence in a motivationally biased way. Self-deception can be like a drug, numbing you from harsh reality, or turning a blind eye to the tough matter of gathering evidence and thinking (Churchland, 2013). As Voltaire commented long ago, ‘Illusion is the first of all pleasure.’”
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What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
“It’s likely that narcissistic personality disorder is caused by several factors, such as environmental circumstances (including the child-parent relationship) and genetics.”
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“We all lie to ourselves. Whether we’re convincing ourselves that something is or isn’t true, self-deception is a common psychological tactic—so common, in fact, that people can be unaware they’re even doing it.
But why do we do it? Research defines self-deception as an independent mental state made up of conscious and unconscious memories and attitudes, as well as controlled and automatic processes, that serves as an attempt at self-protection or enhancement.”
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“Ego Traps • If you think it is more “spiritual” to ride a bike to work or use public transportation, but then find yourself judging anyone who drives a car, you’re in an ego trap. • If you think it is more “spiritual” to stop watching television because it rots your brain, but then find yourself judging those who still watch TV, you’re in an ego trap. • If you think it is more “spiritual” to avoid reading gossip, tabloid or news magazines, but then find yourself judging those who do read those things, you’re in an ego trap. • If you think it is more “spiritual” to listen to classical music or soothing nature sounds, but then find yourself judging those who listen to mainstream or pop music, you’re in an ego trap. • If you think it is more “spiritual” to do yoga, become a vegan, buy organic, buy healing crystals, practice reiki, meditate, wear hippie/thrift shop clothing, visit ashrams and read enlightened spiritual books, but then you judge anyone who doesn’t do those things, you’re in an ego trap. Always be aware of the feeling of superiority. Self-righteous superiority is your biggest clue that you are in an ego trap. The ego loves to sneak in the back door. It will take a noble idea, like starting up yoga, and then twist it to serve its own ends by making you feel superior to others; you will start to look down on those who are not following your righteous “spiritual” path. Superiority, judgment and condemnation. That is the ego trap.”
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What’s So Bad About an “Ego Trip”?
“The falsehood here is that it’s always and automatically bad whenever you’re doing something that you wish to do, by your own standards and for your own sake. People think of ‘ego trip’ and they immediately think of a person looking in the mirror, obsessing on him- or herself. They confuse this image with the proper definition of ego, which is a rational orientation towards oneself and reality.”
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“Before you point your fingers, make sure your hands are clean.”
— Bob Marley
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Is It Confidence or an Inferiority Complex?
“An inferiority complex is when a person has feelings of inadequacy or inferiority, whether real or imagined. These feelings may result from a physical defect or surface in situations where we feel less intelligent than our peers. Other times, feelings of inferiority may be concocted from purely imagined shortcomings.”
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“We all lie to ourselves. Whether we’re convincing ourselves that something is or isn’t true, self-deception is a common psychological tactic—so common, in fact, that people can be unaware they’re even doing it.
But why do we do it? Research defines self-deception as an independent mental state made up of conscious and unconscious memories and attitudes, as well as controlled and automatic processes, that serves as an attempt at self-protection or enhancement.”
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“The key aspect of these lies is that people treat (or search for) evidence in a motivationally biased way. Self-deception can be like a drug, numbing you from harsh reality, or turning a blind eye to the tough matter of gathering evidence and thinking (Churchland, 2013). As Voltaire commented long ago, ‘Illusion is the first of all pleasure.’”
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“A narcissist is someone who causes emotional carnage around them and yet feels no guilt or responsibility for the destruction they’ve caused.”
— Sam Vaknin
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Narcissism: Symptoms and Signs
Other signs include:
- A sense of self-importance, exaggerating their achievements and talents
- A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or brilliance
- A belief that they’re more special or unique than others and should only associate with other high-status people
- Envy of others or the belief that others are envious of them
- Insisting they have the best of everything
- Feeling they deserve privileges and special treatment
“Narcissism is extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them. While everyone may show occasional narcissistic behavior, true narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings. They also do not understand the effect that their behavior has on other people.”