parenting
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Brene Brown – Boundaries
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https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
Expressing anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
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Does being the oldest or youngest sibling really shape your personality?
Are you a responsible oldest child, an overlooked middle, or a free-wheeling baby? For those who adhere to the theory that birth order influences personality, the answer to that question may hold the key to who you are as a person. At parties, family dinners, and therapy sessions, people can use birth order as a kind of shorthand for personality traits—an only child’s selfishness, perhaps, or a middle child’s struggle for visibility.
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“It’s important to recognize the signs of traumatic stress and its short- and long-term impact.
The signs of traumatic stress may be different in each child. Young children may react differently than older children.
Preschool Children
- Fear being separated from their parent/caregive
- Cry or scream a lot
- Eat poorly or lose weight
- Have nightmares
Elementary School Children
- Become anxious or fearful
- Feel guilt or shame
- Have a hard time concentrating
- Have difficulty sleeping
Middle and High School Children
- Feel depressed or alone
- Develop eating disorders or self-harming behaviors
- Begin abusing alcohol or drugs
- Become involved in risky sexual behavior”
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Why We Overvalue and Devalue People
“Emotional conditioning by parents creates automatic regimens in how we respond to ourselves and to others in relationships. These knee-jerk reactions take place outside our awareness. Both personalities can show automatic black-and-white responses in the ways they overvalue and devalue people. This can create misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships and harm the way people treat themselves.”
