psychology
Quote Of The Day
“It is impossible for someone to lie unless he thinks he knows the truth. Producing bullshit requires no such conviction. A person who lies is thereby responding to the truth, and he is to that extent respectful of it. When an honest man speaks, he says only what he believes to be true; and for the liar, it is correspondingly indispensable that he considers his statements to be false. For the bullshitter, however, all these bets are off: he is neither on the side of the true nor on the side of the false. His eye is not on the facts at all, as the eyes of the honest man and of the liar are, except insofar as they may pertain to his interest in getting away with what he says. He does not care whether the things he says describe reality correctly. He just picks them out, or makes them up, to suit his purpose.”
— Harry Frankfurt (On Bullshit, pp. 55-56)
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Narcissism: Symptoms and Signs
Other signs include:
- A sense of self-importance, exaggerating their achievements and talents
- A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or brilliance
- A belief that they’re more special or unique than others and should only associate with other high-status people
- Envy of others or the belief that others are envious of them
- Insisting they have the best of everything
- Feeling they deserve privileges and special treatment
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Why do we want to win all the time?
“How does evolutionary pressure toward competitiveness manifest itself in our day-to-day life? We approach challenges and competitions with a strong goal of winning. We feel happy (psychologically reinforced for our efforts) when we win. We feel angry or disappointed (psychologically punished) if we lose. The reactions of others may also reinforce our efforts to win. Cheers and high-5s make us feel good when we win. Our pals shaking their heads or looking at their feet when we lose has the opposite effect. Because our culture endorses winning, we see many models of winners reaping benefits and losers eating crow. These models affect us, consciously and unconsciously.”
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“Insecure people put others down to raise themselves up.”
— Habeeb Akande
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Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons
“In a recent Ditch the Label study, we spoke to 7,347 people about bullying. We asked respondents to define bullying and then later asked if, based on their own definition, they had ever bullied anybody. 14% of our overall sample, so that’s 1,239 people, said yes. What we then did was something that had never been done on this scale before; we asked them intimate questions about their lives, exploring things like stress and trauma, home lives, relationships and how they feel about themselves.”
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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
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Jung’s Advice for Aging
Carl Jung had a lot to say about aging and how to live meaningfully in later life. His perspective isn’t about rigid rules but more about embracing psychological growth and self-understanding. Key points include:
- Embrace Individuation – Jung believed that the later years are the time to focus on becoming your true self. This involves reflecting on your life, integrating different parts of your personality, and accepting both your strengths and weaknesses.
- Value Inner Life Over Outer Achievements – As you age, external accomplishments matter less. Jung advised cultivating the inner life—dreams, imagination, contemplation, and spiritual awareness—because this is where enduring fulfillment comes from.
- Stay Connected to Your Shadow – Don’t deny or suppress the darker, hidden aspects of yourself. Recognizing and understanding them brings wisdom and reduces inner conflict.
- Develop Meaningful Relationships – Relationships remain crucial, but Jung emphasized depth over quantity. Older age is a time for authentic connection, mutual understanding, and passing on wisdom.
- Accept Mortality – Aging is a natural process. Facing your mortality with awareness allows for a richer, more conscious experience of life, and reduces fear of death.
- Creativity and Contribution – Jung saw the later years as a chance to contribute through mentorship, art, writing, or any creative pursuit. This allows life to have purpose beyond personal gain.
- Balance Between Action and Contemplation – Jung stressed alternating between engaging with the world and turning inward. Both are essential for mental health and spiritual growth in later life.
A good way to summarize Jung’s advice: aging well is about self-acceptance, inner development, meaningful connections, and continuing to contribute to the world in ways that reflect your authentic self.
By ChatGPT
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“Hatred has to be learned, Golden says: ‘We are all born with the capacity for aggression as well as compassion. Which tendencies we embrace requires mindful choice by individuals, families, communities and our culture in general. The key to overcoming hate is education: at home, in schools, and in the community.’ According to Dutchevici, facing the fear of being vulnerable and utterly human is what allows us to connect, to feel, and ultimately, to love. She suggests creating ‘cracks in the system.’ These cracks can be as simple as connecting to your neighbor, talking with a friend, starting a protest, or even going to therapy and connecting with an ‘Other.’ It is through these acts that one can understand hate and love.”
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The Science Behind Jealousy And Envy| BetterHelp
“There are a number of theories on the reasons why people experience jealousy. Whether it’s over what other people have that we don’t or have accomplished by means of resources, privilege, opportunity, or hard work, it seems like jealousy has always been a part of being human. One theory is that jealousy was how our early ancestors defended themselves from infidelity, according to evolutionary psychology. Today, we’ve taken theory and applied it to more rigorous scientific study.”
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Psychology of Competitiveness | Eastern Oregon University Online
One study of just this concept found that nearly half of people surveyed would rather make $50,000 in a world where the average salary is $25,000 than make $100,000 in a world where the average is $200,000; that is, they prioritized making more relative to other people rather than having a higher overall income. As the saying goes, “If you and I are being chased by a bear, I don’t have to outrun the bear; I just have to outrun you.”
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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.