psychology

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My philosophy for a happy life | Sam Berns | TEDxMidAtlantic

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“Anger is a natural and mostly automatic response to pain of one form or another (physical or emotional). Anger can occur when people don’t feel well, feel rejected, feel threatened, or experience some loss.

The type of pain does not matter; the important thing is that the pain experienced is unpleasant. Because anger never occurs in isolation but rather is necessarily preceded by pain feelings, it is often characterized as a “secondhand” emotion.”

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“We all lie to ourselves. Whether we’re convincing ourselves that something is or isn’t true, self-deception is a common psychological tactic—so common, in fact, that people can be unaware they’re even doing it.

But why do we do it? Research defines self-deception as an independent mental state made up of conscious and unconscious memories and attitudes, as well as controlled and automatic processes, that serves as an attempt at self-protection or enhancement.”

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One study of just this concept found that nearly half of people surveyed would rather make $50,000 in a world where the average salary is $25,000 than make $100,000 in a world where the average is $200,000; that is, they prioritized making more relative to other people rather than having a higher overall income. As the saying goes, “If you and I are being chased by a bear, I don’t have to outrun the bear; I just have to outrun you.”

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