Quote of the Day
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“I don’t make art to make money. I make money to make art.”
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The frog of the well
“Have you not heard of the frog that lived in the well? It said to the turtle of the Eastern Sea, “I am so happy! I jump about the railings of the well, rest at the crack on the bricks; when I dive into the water, they support my arms and chin; when I scramble in the mud, they bury my feet and toes. I interact with crabs and play with minnows; nobody can compare to me. Furthermore, I dominate the water in this well, and enjoy the joy of being in the well. Isn’t it wonderful? Why don’t you come down and have a look?” The turtle of the Eastern Sea tried to get in the well, but before his left leg could even enter, his right knee was already stuck. So, it circled around and went back, and told the sea, “A thousand miles cannot describe its vastness; a thousand fathoms cannot measure its depth. In the time of Yu, there were floods nine out of ten years, yet the sea did not increase; in the time of Tang, there were droughts seven out of eight years, yet the cliffs did not decrease. The sea does not change with the passing of time or the amount of water it contains, this is the great joy of the Eastern Sea.” When the frog in the well heard this, it was astonished and could not find words to reply.”
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“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”
— Steve Jobs
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“Insecure people put others down to raise themselves up.”
— Habeeb Akande
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“So bullshitting isn’t just nonsense. It’s constructed in order to appear meaningful, though on closer examination, it isn’t. And bullshit isn’t the same as lying. A liar knows the truth but makes statements deliberately intended to sell people on falsehoods. bullshitters, in contrast, aren’t concerned about what’s true or not, so much as they’re trying to appear as if they know what they’re talking about. In that sense, bullshitting can be thought of as a verbal demonstration of the Dunning-Kruger effect—when people speak from a position of disproportionate confidence about their knowledge relative to what little they actually know, bullshit is often the result.”
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“The value of art lies in its power to inspire, not in its price tag.”
— Unknown
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“You can’t copy anybody and end with anything. If you copy, it means you’re working without any real feeling.”
— Milt Jackson
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“Wrestling is my first love. It was the first thing I ever did where I felt like I really belonged.” — RIP Hulk Hogan
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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
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“You know what’s really wrong with the world? Everything.”
— Adrian Monk/ Monk TV show