“In order to understand what happens in your body when you dislike someone, you can start by trying to understand fear. As Robert Sapolsky writes in “Why Your Brain Hates Other People,” when we see someone who even looks different from us, “there is preferential activation of the amygdala,” which means the brain region associated with fear and aggression flares up. This visceral, emotional reaction can spark a long-term pattern of dislike when it’s validated by action: if you perceive that someone has hurt you, your fear of them becomes rational. Our negative feelings toward someone get stronger as bad experiences with them pile up, and these negative thoughts trigger the fight-or-flight response in our bodies.”
“To better understand and address jealous feelings, we need to look deeper into what causes them. Jealousy is often rooted in insecurities and fears that a person may not even realize they have. These could include fear of oversimplification, fear of inadequacy, fear of abandonment, fear of being replaced, and fear of being judged. By recognizing what lies beneath jealous behaviors, we can look into ways to manage them better.”
hy·poc·ri·sy /həˈpäkrəsē/ noun noun: hypocrisy; plural noun: hypocrisies the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense.
“Humans are prone to the principle of least effort, often known as the ‘path of least resistance,’ which means they’ll go for whatever option requires the least work. Hypocrisy allows you to appear principled without having to be so, which is much easier than adhering to strict principles.”
“And the big daddy that I learned from all this: I actually CAN’T paint like other artists, and nor do I want to. That’s the best thing this exercise has taught me over the years; it’s fun to experiment, to try out what other artists are doing, but if I only ever did that I’d be unfulfilled and dissatisfied. I’d be surrounded by a vegetarian buffet and craving steak.”
Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku.
Desiring to show his attainment, he said: “The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no realization, no delusion, no sage, no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received.”
Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry.
“If nothing exists,” inquired Dokuon, “where did this anger come from?”
