self conscious
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Sometimes it’s a dog-eat-dog world and the rest of the time it’s the other way around.
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Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself…
Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem— then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you— it is irrelevant!
When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.
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Develop Your Heart | Ajahn Brahm | 2 Dec 2016
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Thubten Chodron Wonderful Dhamma Talk
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“We have to create culture, don’t watch TV, don’t read magazines, don’t
even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and
time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe,
and if you’re worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody
else, then you are disempowered, you’re giving it all away to icons,
icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to
dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of
thinking. That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and
your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your
hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told ‘no’, we’re unimportant,
we’re peripheral. ‘Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.’ And
then you’re a player, you don’t want to even play in that game. You
want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural
engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all
this trash that’s being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.”― Terence McKenna