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Authenticity: The Deep Hurt of Hiding Your True Self
“Living your truth is daunting and yet empowering, unimaginable but possible, raw and fulfilling. It may be the greatest gift we can give ourselves, but it can be completely overwhelming. As several celebrities recently spoke openly about their sexual orientation and gender identity, they become an example of what is possible, ushering in an era of being oneself completely.”
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The Many Ways We Lie to Ourselves
“The key aspect of these lies is that people treat (or search for) evidence in a motivationally biased way. Self-deception can be like a drug, numbing you from harsh reality, or turning a blind eye to the tough matter of gathering evidence and thinking (Churchland, 2013). As Voltaire commented long ago, ‘Illusion is the first of all pleasure.’”
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“We all lie to ourselves. Whether we’re convincing ourselves that something is or isn’t true, self-deception is a common psychological tactic—so common, in fact, that people can be unaware they’re even doing it.
But why do we do it? Research defines self-deception as an independent mental state made up of conscious and unconscious memories and attitudes, as well as controlled and automatic processes, that serves as an attempt at self-protection or enhancement.”
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Authenticity: The Deep Hurt of Hiding Your True Self
“Living your truth is daunting and yet empowering, unimaginable but possible, raw and fulfilling. It may be the greatest gift we can give ourselves, but it can be completely overwhelming. As several celebrities recently spoke openly about their sexual orientation and gender identity, they become an example of what is possible, ushering in an era of being oneself completely.”
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How self-deception allows people to lie
We lie to ourselves to protect our self-images, which allows us to act immorally while maintaining a clear conscience. According to the very latest research, self-deception may have even evolved to help us to persuade others; if we start believing our own lies, it’s much easier to get other people to believe them, too.
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“The difference between bullshit and lying is that bullshit is constructed without any concern for the truth. It’s designed to impress rather than inform. And then lying, of course, is very concerned with the truth — but subverting it.”
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The Four Noble Truths comprise the essence of Buddha’s teachings, though they leave much left unexplained. They are the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. More simply put, suffering exists; it has a cause; it has an end; and it has a cause to bring about its end. The notion of suffering is not intended to convey a negative world view, but rather, a pragmatic perspective that deals with the world as it is, and attempts to rectify it. The concept of pleasure is not denied, but acknowledged as fleeting. Pursuit of pleasure can only continue what is ultimately an unquenchable thirst. The same logic belies an understanding of happiness. In the end, only aging, sickness, and death are certain and unavoidable.
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“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
— Maya Angelou
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“We all lie to ourselves. Whether we’re convincing ourselves that something is or isn’t true, self-deception is a common psychological tactic—so common, in fact, that people can be unaware they’re even doing it.
But why do we do it? Research defines self-deception as an independent mental state made up of conscious and unconscious memories and attitudes, as well as controlled and automatic processes, that serves as an attempt at self-protection or enhancement.”
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“The key aspect of these lies is that people treat (or search for) evidence in a motivationally biased way. Self-deception can be like a drug, numbing you from harsh reality, or turning a blind eye to the tough matter of gathering evidence and thinking (Churchland, 2013). As Voltaire commented long ago, ‘Illusion is the first of all pleasure.’”
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“Perhaps the most critical piece of evidence for the theory of hypocrisy as false signaling is that people disliked hypocrites more than so-called ‘honest hypocrites.’ In a fourth online study, the researchers tested perceptions of ‘honest hypocrites,’ who — like traditional hypocrites — condemn behaviors that they engage in, but who also admit that they sometimes commit those behaviors. ‘The extent to which people forgive honest hypocrites was striking to us,’ says Jordan. ‘These honest hypocrites are seen as no worse than people who commit the same transgressions but keep their mouths shut and refrain from judging others for doing the same — suggesting that the entirety of our dislike for hypocrites can be attributed to the fact that they falsely signal their virtue.’”
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“Perhaps the most critical piece of evidence for the theory of hypocrisy as false signaling is that people disliked hypocrites more than so-called ‘honest hypocrites.’ In a fourth online study, the researchers tested perceptions of ‘honest hypocrites,’ who — like traditional hypocrites — condemn behaviors that they engage in, but who also admit that they sometimes commit those behaviors. ‘The extent to which people forgive honest hypocrites was striking to us,’ says Jordan. ‘These honest hypocrites are seen as no worse than people who commit the same transgressions but keep their mouths shut and refrain from judging others for doing the same — suggesting that the entirety of our dislike for hypocrites can be attributed to the fact that they falsely signal their virtue.’”