Art
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“You can’t copy anybody and end with anything. If you copy, it means you’re working without any real feeling.”
— Milt Jackson
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Benjamin Girard
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Augustin Théodule Ribot
Saint Sebastian, Martyr
ca. 1865
Oil on canvas
18 ¼ × 21 5/8 in
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Childhood Trauma: How We Learn to Lie, Hide, and Be Inauthentic
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
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“And finally, don’t assume that technique alone will save your ass. It still is the idea that wins…every time.”
Syd Mead
TRON
1982
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“You know what’s really wrong with the world? Everything.”
— Adrian Monk/ Monk TV show
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“The man who has no imagination has no wings.”
— Muhammad Ali
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“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”
– Kurt Cobain
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“I have come this far through all the pain, not because of weakness, but because of the strength I have. You should thank Christ for making me who I am, because I am who you need. I am the one who can save you! You may believe you are a hero, but the real hero is me.”
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How self-deception allows people to lie
We lie to ourselves to protect our self-images, which allows us to act immorally while maintaining a clear conscience. According to the very latest research, self-deception may have even evolved to help us to persuade others; if we start believing our own lies, it’s much easier to get other people to believe them, too.
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Stop Making Stupid People Famous.
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“You can’t do it unless you can imagine it.”
— George Lucas