“The difference between bullshit and lying is that bullshit is constructed without any concern for the truth. It’s designed to impress rather than inform. And then lying, of course, is very concerned with the truth — but subverting it.”
When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through repetition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.
Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that Bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.
“The founder of our sect,” boasted the priest, “had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?”
Bankei replied lightly: “Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink.”
In Zen practice, death is not considered important in the conventional sense because Zen emphasizes direct experience of reality beyond concepts, including life and death. Zen points to the present moment as the only true reality, rather than being attached to the past or future, including concerns about death.
Here are a few key reasons why death is not a central concern in Zen:
No Fixed Self – Zen teaches that the self is not a fixed, separate entity but a fluid, interconnected part of existence. If there is no solid “self,” then who is there to die?
Life and Death Are One – Rather than seeing life and death as opposing forces, Zen regards them as two aspects of the same reality. Dogen Zenji, the founder of Soto Zen, wrote about shoji (life-death) as a seamless flow rather than two separate states.
Impermanence Is Fundamental – Everything is constantly changing, and clinging to permanence creates suffering. By fully accepting impermanence, fear of death loses its grip.
Living Fully in the Present – Zen emphasizes complete presence in each moment. Since death is not happening now, focusing on it distracts from experiencing life completely.
Direct Experience Over Concepts – Zen discourages excessive thinking about abstract concepts like death and instead encourages direct experience of reality as it is.
This doesn’t mean Zen ignores death—it acknowledges it as a natural part of existence. However, instead of fixating on it, Zen practice encourages embracing life fully, letting go of fear, and experiencing each moment completely.
By being treated in these damaging ways, the child learns that being yourself is dangerous, that in order to survive and be at least marginally accepted by your caregivers, you have to hide who you really are: your thoughts, observations, feelings, and preferences.
Other times the child decides to lie to get their needs met, needs that otherwise would be completely ignored. For example, if the caregivers are emotionally distant, the child might lie or pretend that somethings going on just to receive some attention.
And, of course, if the child is routinely attacked or rejected for being authentic, they learn to hide and pretend. In many cases, to the degree where they gradually lose connection to their authentic self and have no idea anymore who they really are.
This is tragic. However, its important to realize that, as adults, we don’t have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. We don’t need our caregivers to survive. We can endure and deal with all these feelings of betrayal, hurt, distrust, shame, loneliness, anger, and many others.
As adults we can slowly untangle all of these problems and slowly rediscover who we really are. We also can start working on trusting others who actually are trustworthy. We can become authentic again.
“The male ego can in some cases be tied to how and where a man sees his place in the world and whether he’s living up to expectations — his and those of society.
Cultural stereotypes for men can be intricately tied to both the inflation and deflation of the male ego. Some men measure themselves by the answers to the following questions:
Am I strong enough? Am I wealthy enough? Do I meet the traditional definition of masculinity? Do I attract women? Do I control things or people? Do people recognize me for these things and am I respected and revered for them?”